He left on Friday.

He stuck around for most of the day and then disappeared about 6′ish.

I thought he might stay…. Id worked so hard that week to keep him… But he went.

I thought I had done enough to keep him but it shows what I know.

I should know what he is like, it’s never really been any different looking back.

I try so hard, he sit backs and watches my hard work and every time it gets to Friday I get that feeling that says.. ‘he might stay’

But he never does.

He always goes, and then it’s a case of picking up the pieces and hoping, nay praying that he comes back on Monday.

Whilst it hurts when he goes, if he comes back on Monday I forgive him.. I always do

That’s the fear.. That he stays away.

That he abandons me completely, and we all know what happens then don’t we, it’s a well trodden for me.

Its bad enough when he leaves… I let myself go, and an old friend, Self Loathing, shows his pig ugly face, he climbs into bed with me and makes me spend every waking hour with him.

Self Loathing is always accompanied by his mate Low Self Esteem and that’s when it all turns shit shaped.

So here I am again, same as every Sunday recently, praying that my soul mate comes back with his tail between his legs tomorrow.

We will kiss and make up, we always do.

I need him too much to let him go.

Self Control I’m at a loss without you, I need you in my life, Self Loathing is such a shit and I hate him so much, he has no respect.

Self Control please don’t go again

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