Apr 18

Can thinking something make it happen?

So I was sat in one of my last lectures of this 2nd year of my degree, the lectures particular flavour was CBT – Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to the uninitiated and it works a bit like Kryptonite to me

Its a long winded story that I wont bore you with but I hate it, yes it works, yes its proven, yes I can acknowledge that a thousand times but it just doesn’t fit with me and what I want to do from a counselling perspective – I can see lots of others love it and that’s OK -  they might hate what I love and that’s fine too – diversity is what makes the world go around but there were a couple of points in the lecture where I just wanted to ask more and get a different kind of response so I’m asking it here and hoping you can help me with a bit of “research” – those on my course can either start laughing now or stop reading – its about to be very dull as you all heard this during the lecture.

The overriding subject matter was about the effects and consequences of “worry & rumination” which are so prevalent in so many mental health disorders.

The lecturer’s persistent point was that worry/rumination isn’t generally helpful – and this is something that I absolutely would subscribe to – no issue there

He came round to the subject of “is thinking fact” well no its not and ok – yep – happy with that

Then asked if thinking something could make it come true.. he asked about the lottery.. imagining winning doesn’t make it so does it.. no it doesn’t

He then told of a time he was in a training session and on a blank piece of A4 he was asked to write the name of a loved one and then write “died in a car crash” and it was this I balked at.

Fair enough we had gone through a path of understanding with him that “just because we think it doesn’t make it so” – but I do think there are sizeable parts of me that believe in the power of positive thought and consequently the power of negative thought.

He asked if we would have done it and I didn’t hesitate in saying “no chance” and then entered into a discussion with him about why and at the back of my head I was having an internal debate on where I stand with this stuff.

My reasoning was that there are countless stories of people with cancer who survive longer, achieve what might have been unthinkable or are recovered which they put it firmly in the hands of positive thought, mind over body, using visualisation and mental kick assing when all else appears lost. Also of elderly couples who spent their entire lives together, and one of the dies and the other dies almost immediately after.

Is this all just consequence?

I should caveat this immediately by saying I’m not suggesting that all those who died or suffered from cancer or other awful illnesses ‘gave up’ and that’s why they passed away, cancer, for one,  is a relentless beast of a shit but I suppose I’m looking at examples of where people lived longer than they should have done, overcame adversity that shouldn’t have been possible, experienced events through sheer will etc

I have personal experience of:

a) mother who was too stubborn to die though all the odds were against her, and even someone half her age and in the peak of physical condition could not have survived – and why? she hadn’t met her new grandchild, I was 8 months pregnant and Funny Miss was born while she was in intensive care on a ventilator

b) another grandparent in a hospice – unconscious – rousing to hear news of her first born great grandchild before quickly slipping away the following day

So do I think that thought is so powerful, or should I just sign up and write the name of a loved one on that sheet?

Well here is the thing – I do believe that thought is a powerful life enhancing and even life saving thing

Yes I can see that medication and timing might all play a part but I bet we all know of something or a similar situation to the ones I describe above – or someone who is beating the odds even as we speak by attitude and powerful positive thinking.

Yes I can also see that I cant make myself win the lottery – but can I think myself into a better position – I think I can – there you go call me naive but I think I can.

I do believe that what I put out there is what I will get back – call it Karma

I couldn’t write my loved ones name on that sheet, as I wouldn’t want to put that out into the universe – I just wouldn’t want it out there – so  pass me a kaftan

So my question to you is this  – would you write a loved ones name on that sheet?

*I should also caveat this by saying he didn’t actually ask us to do that – just asked if we would have done*

If you like that you might LOVE this..

19
comments

  • Bobbity666

    No and for the same reasons as you.  It would not feel right or comfortable to even see the words even if they were ‘just words’

    • alysonsblog

       no some thing you just don’t want out there – or even envisaged – thanks for commenting

  • http://twitter.com/Alt_Geek M

    Absolutely not. MCT and its concepts ring loud and clear to me, and I took on board everything he said, but no I absolutely would not write that name on the sheet. And I think you make very valid points throughout. 

    • alysonsblog

       Thanks M – I know I agreed with so much that he said but just that point I couldnt sign up to!

  • Lauren_W

    I love this post so much.
    I am in a place right now, mentally, where I question a lot of things, why things happen etc. In fact I’ve been in this place for almost 3 years.
    I am very careful about what I wish for, or say, in case there is a consequence due to what I’ve said or thought.

    I couldn’t write a family members name down on a piece of paper. Never. Ever.
    And I’m glad you spoke out about it in your lecture. I have huge respect for you for doing that. X

    • alysonsblog

      Lauren, thanks so much for commenting, much appreciated, I think the same, be careful what you a)put out there and b) what you wish for

  • Clare G

    God no. I’m not a great believer in much t be honest and can be pretty cynical. But no, not in a million years would I risk the life of a loved one to something that just might be. And then there’s coincidence, what if? What if, purely coincidentally, it happened. Could I ever forgive myself? Nope.

    • alysonsblog

      Clare that was part of my point, if I put that on the sheet what would be to say that it wouldn’t be playing on my mind whilst driving said person about and that might inadvertently cause that problem as my attention might be diverted to worrying about it?

  • Tina Dickinson

    No. I would never write that at all. However I do believe in CBT and actively use it regularly x

    • alysonsblog

      Thanks for commenting Tina, me too re CBT, I know it works, it worked for me and still does and I can’t criticise it too much, I just don’t always like its method or theory x

  • http://www.insidethewendyhouse.blogspot.com Inside The Wendy House

    Never.  The universe is too vast and too complicated with too many unknown qualities for me to put anything like that out into the ether.  I wouldn’t mess with anything like that lightly…nor would I use a Ouija Board, hold a seance, read the Lord’s Prayer backwards or say Candy Man three times into a mirror.  Just don’t go there!!

    • alysonsblog

      Me either Wendy, some things just are not worth messing with, thanks for your comment x

  • Anton1a

    In my previous existence as a Medical Rep, there would be a surge in deaths after Christmas and Easter as palliative patients would ‘hold on’ until those occasions (it was believed, unless it was an utter coincidence).

    It’s a very interesting point that you raise. I would have baulked at the suggestion to write that on the A4 had it been made to me as it was to your lecturer. I wonder whether we do simply avoid countenancing such severe events, and that the act of writing it down makes it a ‘real’ possibility in our minds (where we wouldn’t usually consider things).

    I had never really considered the other side of the CBT coin. I found CBT really helpful in dealing with anxiety, but on the flipside, I do believe in the power of positive thinking.

    Interestingly, there was an article in the Saturday Guardian about centegenarians, and it seemed that things they all had in common was an optimistic outlook, a sociable character, and an ability to distance themselves from worry. It was not saying that anyone who is not a centegenarian is not positive enough or anything like that, and it doesn’t take into account illnesses, accidents that remove others’ chances of living that long-it was just interesting to note the similarities between these folk who had weathered so many decades.

    You have given me food for thought here, as always!

    • alysonsblog

      Thanks for your response Antonia, much appreciated, and fascinating re Christmas and Easter deaths too. I can’t hate CBT all the way Antonia, it worked for me, and I use it still in various guises, it’s been life changing to me, but from a profession point of view it’s just not my modality. Interestingly my grandad lived to a similar age and he had very similar qualities, but he used to put it down to a half grapefruit a day and a whiskey!

      • Anton1a

        That is another factor a lot of the centegenerians seem to share- a daily tipple!

        • alysonsblog

           *reaches for the gin*

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  • http://mdplife.blogspot.com/ Michelle Twin Mum

    That just seems the most bizzare thing to do.  No way woudl I put that to paper, there is just no need.  Mich x

    • alysonsblog

       my sentiment exactly Michelle, why would you?