I love my girls with every breath in my body, in fact I would give them my last breath if they needed it, but recently I’ve been hearing a lot of whinging, and moaning, with some selfish and ungrateful thrown in for extra measure.
In particular from my middle daughter, I am probably just more sensitive than usual down the the training with the Place2Be and the children who struggle with the barest of minimums on a daily basis, I’m perhaps more aware of how much my children have when so many have so little.
This was brought into stark reality recently when middle daughter was complaining about how ‘unfair’ it was that her younger sister got crisps while she ‘only’ had chocolate, and how I ‘spoiled her ice cream by getting chocolate on the top and not mint’ and all the reasons that she couldnt possibly share her stuff with her sister, as well as how ‘unfair’ it was not to see Mickey this year and it got to the point that I told her she was ungrateful and should remember how lucky she was.
She is lucky, I certainly know she is, but does she?
The answer is no, and why would she.. she see’s these things as basic, requirements, the norm
In no way special or exceptional, and that’s down to us as parents, she has extraordinary opportunities that other children would live for but all she see’s is what she hasn’t got, a glass half empty, I can take responsibilty for her attitude in part but how do I go about changing it?
She is blessed to go to Wales at the weekend, ride horses, go on boats, run on beaches, go on holidays.. but does she appreciate it… that’s fat NO
How is it possible to make a child who has grown up completely accustomed to having all this, actually value it?
I’m really not sure, but it has to start somewhere and it starts tonight
Tonight before her nightime routine, I sent her upstairs with a new ‘little book of gratefulness’, and I have no idea if it will work.
Her task, before bed is to write down 5 things she is grateful for, every night, they can be large or small, but they must be positive and thankful
Am I asking too much of her, on the threshold of 8, to appreciate the good and not focus on the ‘have not?’
Or is this just par for the course?
I’m not expecting her to fall to her knees and thank us dearly for all her blessings but just to perhaps catch and grasp a couple of them and recognise her lot in life is a decent one
I’m interested to know what you think, or what you might do or have done in a similar situation
We are truly blessed, she is loved, looked after and has amazing opportunities, and it doesn’t sit well with me that we have appeared to raise her without at least a small about of recognition of that fact.
Or is that just the way it is these days?