Tagged: alysonsblog alyson andrew

Jan 15

Hire Me a Flatbed Truck

As many of you may know from my previous blogs, I havent yet been able to start my new job due to a bereavement, not on my side, but my new employer which has left me in a kind of limbo, our lovely nanny is taking great care of my daughters, better than I would to be honest so they are all happy and content, which leaves me days of free time (which I should point out I have been desperately craving for as long as I can remember) to do as I wish, whatever pleases me, so what do I do? nothing… I linger round the house like a spare part, I’m sure the nanny just wishes I would bugger off then she could be properly in charge rather than the kids keep running to me every 5 mins.

Dont get me wrong.. there are some things that I am simply LOVING being able to do alone.. the weekly shop for instance – for those of you without children you will never realise the sweet joy in being able to wander the aisle without a disappearing 5 yr old or a tired cranky baby, for those of you with children I know you are now closing your eyes and just imagining the ‘childfree shop’ mmmmmm lovely isnt it.

I went to a gallery and strolled round without a care in the world, I went for lunch with my mum without having to feed someone else first, I had a shower, yes a shower without rushing and actually managed to put my make up on which is a first for 2 reasons, firstly I put it on in the bathroom.. which I dont think has happened since 1992, and secondly I put it on (miracle in its own right) which again doesnt happen often apart for wedding christenings and funerals.

So yes there are distinct advantage to this limbo position but to be honest it all just feels a bit unnatural, its not normal for me to have time to myself, its not normal for me to think about me and not others first, its not natural to feel this free, so Iam like the caged lion that paced its cage day after day, year after year dreaming of the wild… then someone left the door open and the lion realised he didnt actually want to go anywhere anyway…

Work SHOULD in theory start on Monday but even thats still a bit of a maybe at the moment, so instead of seizing the day and wandering the aisles of the Traffic Centre… children free.. imagine!! I will sit inside gazing outside wondering about all the things I could be doing but wont be doing.. whats that all about!

So my husband called to day to tell me that the bonus that was going to pay for our trip to America isnt coming anymore, apparantly it never was,  he just made a mistake reading his bonus sheet, so am feeling pretty downbeat about that. We really need a family holiday its been a tough couple of years and as lovely as Wales is, for me I need some serious sun, a sun lounger and pool to feel like I’m on a proper holiday, so will have to see if we can raid the piggy banks to see what we can manage but I’m sure it wont be nearly so grand.

I do hope you are all sitting down – I am sure these words will be thrown with jest in my face for many a moon if I change my mind but……drum roll….. am thinking of packing in the booze, I read an article about Zoe Ball who has stopped drinking altogether, and about how much better she felt for it and her reasons why and to be honest I read it and thought about booze and its effect on me, anyone who knows me will tell you the I ADORE a Bombay Sapphire and Tonic as dearly as life itself.. probably too much, but is that a good thing relying on something to get me through ‘a bad week’ or a ‘bad day’ or just drinking for the sake of it like I do now?

I cant even imagine the amount of calories I have consumed through booze but I am guessing its worth a good fat ass and, apparantly a glass of wine (bar measure not my measure) is equivalent calories of a jam doughnut so the average 3 glasses I sink of an evening rocks up to 21 doughnuts a week.. thats outrageous..thats 1092 doughnuts a year .. if I keep that up I will be needing to remove the front wall to get me out and hire a flatbed truck to take me to the shops.. its not good. If you factor in my measures are so much bigger then I think I may be consuming all the doughnuts in the world mwahahaha

So this weekend I will be considering whether to quit the evil booze, if I do it then I plan to only drink at special occasions, so say Christmas or a Wedding or a birthday, I managed 9 months x 3 without booze so I know its entirely possible, anyways enough for now.. my G & T is waiting.. joke.. I will let you know what I decide to do when I decide to do it…


Jan 12

Portraits?.. I think I’ll stick to Landscapes..

I do a weekly art class on a Tuesday night, its my saviour of the week, my two hours to empty my head of children, husband, life and go and do something that I really enjoy, its just for me, and I go come hell or high water, NOTHING gets in the way of me and my 2 hours of complete and utter creative bliss, well actually that isn’t true my husband was once late home and so i couldn’t go but trust me when I say he WONT be making that mistake again.

I am a complete novice at ‘Art’ in a formal way although for years I have dabbled in different types of painting and drawing, all pretty lame and mostly very forgettable but all equally enjoyable to me. I didnt take Art at school as one of my choices as I thought I couldnt do it, ie there was always someone better at it than me in the class so that meant it was pointless doing it if you cant be the best… a ridiculous attitude that has stopped me from doing so much that I enjoy… til now.

So I was in the butchers of all places, and i picked up a leaflet he had on the top of his fridge that was offering art classes from a prolific local artist, and I picked up my phone in the butchers and registered for it knowing full well if I went home then i would talk myself out of it. Its categorically been one of the better decisions I have made as its now so important to me.

My teacher Keith Parkinson is a archetypal artist, you would look at him and think ‘artist’ immediately, all shaggy haired and passionate about his art, as we all shuffled in the first week I realised I was a) the youngest, b) the least experienced and c) the most eager to be there, they were mainly all of pensionable age or thereabouts and mixed abilities. As we got cracking and introduced ourselves and expressed why we were there, I filled up with tears (not unusual for me) and I expressed how I wanted to do something just for me, and I finally didn’t care if I was rubbish at it, I just wanted to try, it was really liberating, accepting that I might be the most rubbish person in the room and that didn’t matter

I have learnt some amazing things from this class and whilst I will never be fantastic I am now at a stage where I can create something and appreciate it rather than just thinking its rubbish, or what I didn’t like about it, and that’s HUGE for me. I feel excited about using my skills down in Wales this coming year and out and about in general. This week was the first week of the much anticipated ‘portraits’  block of classes, something which I think is all our nemesis in the class, so he handed out pics of Twiggy, Gordon Ramsay, and John Lennon, as I foolishly thought that Gordon has such a recognisable face that I might be able to make it look like him even if it was dross…. I was wrong, Keith gave us an amazing tutorial in how and where to start, a grid pattern to work to and it should have been a piece of cake.. but it wasn’t it was my kryptonite… Gordon looked horrific and in need of Botox more than ever before, I don’t think he will be using it for his next autobiography put it that way…

Next week is self portraits, so am banking on losing 5 stone, having a face lift, time for a fake tan and new wardrobe and face in time for next week.. I told the class that next week they wont recognise me as I will have that much ‘slap’ on that I will be looking more like Ivana Trump…I cant bear to look at myself in a mirror on my better days so the thought of staring at myself for 2 hours is pretty daunting.. am thinking of going all modern art and making myself into a lemon or something else unrecognisable.

Back to real life with a bump, today the new nanny started, a truly lovely girl, who appears to have the patience I used to have 18 or so long years ago, we picked up Lucy from school who was proudly telling anyone who would listen that she had a ‘new person’ meaning the nanny, the teacher asked me what a ‘new person was?’ and I duly introduced Sonya.. the teacher replied Lucy talks about the ‘new person’ as if she is her personal slave…hmm  probably need to have a chat with Lucy about that… only I hold the personal slave job description methinks.

Emma, Lucy and Meg seemed to take to her straight away leaving me now free to enter the world of grown up work, actually earning a living again and not just faffing about. The extra money will be most grateful for sure, as will the satisfaction i know I can get from contributing financially to my family, self respect, not to mention the ability to have holidays again… now where is the credit card again…?

Just to finish .. a typical conversation in our house is around the central heating – our bill rivals the National Debt of a 3rd World country and so my other half is forever on a mission turning down the heating and replacing our gas fire with a wood burner, turning off lights etc etc… so today he rings up the gas company to see if his penny pinching ways have paid off.. to be rewarded with a new bill that is HALF yes HALF our last bill, he is so excited he bounces round like Tigger.. I on the other hand just remember the cold feet, the cold noses, the extra jumpers and the draft whistling through the doors, as I walk in tonight he says ‘I still cant believe that bill’… I wander upstairs to find all our children sleeping in pj’s dressing gowns, 2 pairs of socks and one of them still shivering.. surely there has to be a happy medium.. tight wad

Oh and I should probably plug the facebook group page for he blog, if you ‘join’ you will automatically get the latest blog without relying on me to upload it.. lets face it most days I cant even remember my own name let alone remember to upload a blog http://www.facebook.com/?filter=nf#/group.php?gid=247889836495&ref=search&sid=668735150.788195374..1